you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize