Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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