actually, I'm a sock model
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
