So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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