Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
