she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
