This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
