Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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