she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
