dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
