You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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