did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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