i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
