is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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