I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
