Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was born a porn star she said
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
