i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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