Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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