We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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