Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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