Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
