You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
