I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
