I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish i was in the wii world.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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