in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
