I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
