Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
