We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
