Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
