Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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