The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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