Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
