Just fell off a train. Bad.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
