I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
