Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
