I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
