brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
