we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
