Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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