Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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