is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Quick, to the slutcave!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
