i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
