I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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