I must be too annoying 4 u.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
