HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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