Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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