dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
