Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
