my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
