is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
