does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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