Three words: puerto rican gang bang
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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