we have officially lost it.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
